Thursday, 27 March 2008

• This is SOO Funny!!!! Yoy MUST read it! I think my cat Trucker wrote this.

  Dog Diary: 
   
  8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
  
  9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
  
  9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
  
  10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
   
  12:00 PM - Lunch!  My favorite thing!
   
  1:00 PM - Played in the yard!  My favorite thing!
  
  3:00 PM - Wagged my tail!  My favorite thing!
  
  5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
  
  7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
  
  8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people!  My favorite thing!
  
  11:00 PM - Sleeping on the people bed!  My favorite thing!
  
  
  
  CAT DIARY:
  
  Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt
  me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on
  fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some
  sort of dry nuggets.
  
  Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
  nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
  
  The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
  attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I
  decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I
  had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
  demonstrates what I am capable of.
   
  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a
  'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!
  
  There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
  placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that
  my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what
  this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
  
  This morning I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
  of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must
  try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.  I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
  
  The dog receives special privileges.  He is regularly released - and
  seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.
  
  The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicate with
  the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move. My
  captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
  so he is safe.
  
  For now...
  
  Cat

   

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